Everything you need to know to be friends with your ex and not die trying!
Surely you have heard the saying: where there was fire, ashes remain. This is one of the most common arguments for saying that you can’t be friends with your ex. Another frequent reason is that one of you ends up feeling attraction again. Enough of prejudice! Of course, it is possible, and this guide tells you how to do it (although we know that every love story has its particularities).
Time heals everything
Probably if you question immediately after the separation whether or not to be friends with your ex, the answer will be a resounding NO, not a chance! That’s why it’s important that before you propose to have a friendly relationship with your former partner, allow time for each of you to mourn the breakup. There is no manual that dictates the time you need to take the first steps to this friendship, it depends on each couple, it can be weeks, months or years.
Honesty, the pillar of friendship
Once you consider that you have managed to overcome the separation, you can begin to consider the possibility of establishing a friendship with the aforementioned person. To do this, it is very important to be honest with yourself and do some introspection work. Check that, indeed, that love is already a thing of the past. Some signs to detect that it is not yet time are that you still miss him, it hurts you to see him with another partner, you are aware of his social networks and his life.
Answer yourself frankly, am I really interested in his friendship, and am I capable of loving him only as a friend? If the answers above were “yes”, then of course you can, (well obviously only if the other person also wants to).
The difficult process of adaptation
It’s normal that now that you are friends, you still have couple attitudes. Texting each other all day and at any time, giving or asking for explanations, jealous of the other… These are actions that definitely have no place within a friendship. To avoid misunderstandings, especially if one or both of you already have a new partner, set boundaries, you will save yourself a lot of trouble!
Whether it’s because you have a deep affection for your ex-partner, because you are partners, work at the same place or have children in common, being friends with your ex is a good idea. Be careful, there are exceptions! But if it’s good for you, go for it!