The family is the fundamental component of society, since it contributes to the integral development of each person, it is there where values and skills are taught that will help them overcome and face the world. Although the ideal is that there is communication, understanding and love between its members, unfortunately this is not always the case. There are many cases in which manipulative, selfish and abusive actions prevail that can affect mental and emotional health.
Just as there are toxic relationships, where both are constantly hurt, it can also run in the family. That is why we present some signs that can indicate if your family is also part of this group.
It may be the entire family environment or certain members, in any case there is no single way to deal with this situation, since dealing with families or toxic people is a delicate process. Which in some cases ends up limiting the frequency with which you spend time with the family or avoiding certain topics.
1-They speak badly of you
Within a healthy and loving family, parents, siblings, grandparents, and other relatives speak to one another in an effort to help in difficult situations, as well as to praise or encourage achievements that have been made. Quite the opposite of gossip, criticism that hurts and comments that denote envy. Among other types of actions and attitudes that only generate discomfort.
2-There are many fights
In a healthy family relationship, both father and mother love their children equally and show affection to them to such an extent that neither feels they need to do more to earn that affection or attention. When this is not the case, children find themselves in situations where they feel they have to compete, even one feels better or worse in relation to others. All this creates an environment of constant fights between siblings and prevents a healthy relationship from being created.
3-They take advantage of your weaknesses
When you spend so much time with several people this makes them know each other very well, so parents, siblings or anyone who is at home has the knowledge about your deepest insecurities and fears. Then a healthy family will help you to work on that aspect so that you can improve yourself, while in an unsympathetic environment nothing will be done or they will use that against you to depress you, embarrass you and make you feel bad in public.
4-They try to prevent you from making a change
As the years go by, it is normal for the ways of thinking and acting to change, however in a sick family they try to prevent this from happening, even if it is the best for you. In other words, those who want to be completely different from what the rest of the family expects are simply looked down upon and ridiculed in an attempt to avoid that situation.
5-Se you accept u hide a behaviourabusive
In a very sick family, abusive behaviors, both physically, emotionally or sexually, are not identified and are not treated. The victim is even made to feel as if she is the culprit or deserves what happened, so they are told to keep quiet in an effort to keep up appearances.
6-You are not listened
This is related to the previous situation where your opinion does not count, since it is not in tune with what the majority wants, in order to support individual needs. Even this can happen even if many years have passed, for example if there was physical abuse in childhood and others were aware of it, when you try to discuss what happened they do not let you, or they tell you that it was not something so bad or that you are making it up.
7-The family is maintains united by tiesweak
In this type of sick family, the members use each other, you can be someone’s favorite for a month and the other is already speaking unpleasant things behind your back. That is to say that nobody can relax and blindly trust the other, you are all the time worried about what you said and did since they will talk a lot about you. So the threads that bind them can break at any time.