In the following article we will tell you what toxic parents are, what are the most common profiles, their characteristics and when you should seek psychological help.
What are toxic parents
When parents act in a toxic way with their children, it is because almost always this adult when he was a child, had many emotional deficiencies at home; which did not allow him to have a healthy emotional development.
These toxic parents often develop certain negative characteristics and behaviors. In addition, all due to the great affective deficiency that they endured in their childhood and regularly direct these behaviors to their children.
For this reason, the way of educating their children is not the most appropriate and they tend to turn them into codependent people. Therefore, I invite you to continue reading and see if perhaps you are a toxic father or mother.
What Are Toxic Parents – 10 Types
There are different types of toxic parents, below we will talk about some of them.
1. Overprotective parents
They are those parents who overprotect their children at all times. They carry out all their tasks and duties for them, they protect them from the rain, the sun, they do not let them practice activities that imply any risk; among other situations that represent danger for them.
For this reason, this situation will prevent the child from developing properly; generating stress and anxiety, low self-esteem, little autonomy and possibly will grow up with a codependent personality.
2. Parents who are projected onto their children
They are those parents who project their unfulfilled wishes onto their children. Likewise, they tend to demand that their children be the best in a specific subject, regardless of how much time their child spends on this activity and if they should put other activities aside to focus only on the one that their father or mother demands.
For example: if the mother wanted to be a model and could not meet this goal, she would dedicate all her time and energy to her daughter becoming a model; Regardless of whether this is her daughter’s wish, she simply projects her unfulfilled wish onto her daughter.
These types of children usually end up growing up with low self-esteem and stress problems. Somehow, they don’t have a good decision-making development, all due to their toxic parents.
3. Compliant parents
This type of toxic parents, “are the parents that any child would like to have”; since they do not put limits and norms on their children, they please them in all their whims, they give them excessive freedom.
These parents believe that by letting their children do what they want and showering them with gifts, their children will be happier. But, this is a wrong idea, educating them in this way, over time, causes the child to become capricious and selfish; creating low self-esteem in the child and low tolerance for frustration.
4. The absent are also toxic parents
They are parents who give priority to their work life, to the activities they carry out on a day-to-day basis; rather, everything is more important than their own children, since for them they never have time and they designate the care of them in their partner or in another person; Simply put, your children are not a priority.
Children who are raised with absent parents, tend to feel a feeling of abandonment, grow up with emotional deficiencies, they are more insecure children.
5. Those who do not have healthy habits
Parents are the example of children, in some way they will imitate your behaviors and routines.
In many cases it happens that the parents or one of them is overweight and we see that with the passage of time their children begin to be obese as well. This is because parents do not eat properly and therefore do not provide optimal nutrition for their children, creating health problems in the future.
The same example happens with other habits, such as practicing physical activity, having hygiene habits, sleep schedules, among others. That is why you must generate good habits in your children; Remember that this is part of good parenting, do not become a toxic parent.
6. Manipulative parents
They are those parents who always impose their will and at all times, they often use emotional blackmail so that their children end up doing what they want.
In addition, these parents are capable of lying and inventing stories, to convince their children to do their bidding.
Therefore, children raised under manipulation, in the future can be very shy, fearful, indecisive, have little judgment and have low self-esteem.
7. The planning parents
They plan and organize their children’s lives since they are babies. They already know which college they will go to, which university they will attend, which degree they will study; In short, they organize their children’s futures regardless of their preferences.
8. Youth parents
They maintain a very youthful attitude for their age, they believe they are the best friends of their children, they put few rules on them, they are very permissive, because they think that by acting in this way they will be more loved by their children.
Their children fail to identify them as authority figures; what generates that respect is lost and that there is not a good relationship between parents and children.
9. Addicted parents are toxic
They are those parents who suffer some kind of addiction, be it gambling, alcohol or some other, triggering major family conflicts; on many occasions physical and verbal abuse with their children and their partners is evident.
Children who grow up in a home where addictions prevailed tend to grow up with low self-esteem, poor handling of their emotions, insecurity, and fear.
10. Abusive parents
These types of parents believe that the only way to educate their children is through physical or verbal abuse, or in many cases both occur. Therefore, all the commands given to the child are given by hitting or screaming; They are almost never affectionate with their children and do not have any degree of patience or tolerance when their little ones make mistakes in any context.
Characteristics of toxic parents
The behavior that all toxic parents share arises from the emotional deficiencies that they had as children, leading them to behave in this way. In this article they talk about how to treat them, click here.
For that reason, here we will talk about what are the most characteristic traits in the behavior of toxic parents.
- Little emotional stability
- They criticize everything
- Dependents of their children
- Very demanding
- Physical or verbal abusers
- They blame their children for their bad decisions
- About protectors
- They project their frustrations on their children
- Suffer from some kind of addiction
- Little affective
When should I go to psychological therapy
There is still no definitive guideline on how to raise children, or how to be a better parent; All families live in different contexts and this will be decisive when educating their children.
Therefore, what is important to highlight is that we must promote a parenting style that is positive for our children. Where there are limits and love.
If you as a parent have identified with any of the types of toxic parents or meet many of the characteristics that we show you in this article, it is best that you seek professional help, do not blame yourself, or feel bad, the important thing is that you are making your problem aware. Being a parent can be more difficult than we think.
Consult with us, at Hakuna Matata Psychologists Medellín, we will be happy to help you and guide you in your process, do not hesitate to call us and make an appointment with us.